About Following the Right Path

I just received a text from Nate and I have to write it down.

    "Just finished a meeting with the museum art admin group.  I can remember the night we talked about this program as a possibility and how I felt.  I really think that we were led here."

Let me just start off by saying, I also remember the night we talked about this program and my feelings did not echo his in the initial moment AND any wife who has stood by her husband while he worked his way through school, changing programs, and career desires all the while can understand why.

When I met Nate he was a sculpture major working to complete his associates at UVSC (now UVU)  When we married it was the same story.  After one year of marriage he transferred to the U of U and finished his associates there.  Right about the time he was ready to enter the sculpting program (it may have even been a year into it, can't quite remember) he chose to change his major from Art Sculpting to Art Education.  I was surprised because sculpture was his dream and had been for so long.  I knew he wasn't giving up on it, but still I cried a little when he made that decision.  At the same time though I felt really good about it.  Maybe for selfish reasons but I felt more safe and secure with this new major so I didn't argue it.

Because Nate didn't start out as an art ed major he missed a whole year worth of classes that would have ended his bachelors with a teaching license, which meant in order to become a teacher we needed grad school.  Not a bad idea regardless.  At this point Nate was pretty set on becoming a teacher.  His high school art teacher made a very big impression on him and he wanted to be an influence for good for others.  Nate would have been a great teacher BUT....

When the time came for him to actually start applying for programs he started looking into other programs.  Now he thought it would be really great to do art therapy.  Nate would be very good at that. He researched all the best schools, their application fees and started applying over Christmas break.

So just for the sake of recounting...  in a matter of 3 years.

• Art Sculptor
• Art Education
• Art Therapy (along the same line of work as teaching)

Like I said.  I felt good about his change in major.  Nate would have made both a great teacher and therapist.  And I felt like from the time he changed majors the options for his masters seemed to go hand in hand and I understood the progression.  Plus, I realize that the above is not a large amount of change where schooling and careers are concerned. It was what came next that made everything above feel hard and unstable.

Now back to my feelings on Nate's choice of masters program~ Just as he was winding up applications Nate decided to go on yet another hunt for a school and program.  This is when he found SUU's program "Masters in Art Administration".  What threw me for a loop is that it didn't seem to be in line with any of his other choices.  Art?  Yes.  Teaching?  No.  It felt like it came out of no where and I wasn't very thrilled.  I was supportive, because I had to be.  Not because of him, but because I love him too much to not allow him to follow his path.  My hesitation was that it was new and just as soon as he found it he was applying for it.  At this point the game change started to feel more like wishy washiness than a firm plan for our future and right at crunch time. It seemed to me that we really hadn't talked about it much beyond me kind of flipping a lid then relenting and saying that if thats really what he wanted to do he should do it because it's so important for our family that he be happy in his career decision.

I don't want this to sound like it was Nate's communication issue.  He has always been very good at communication, specifically on the most important things in life.  Also, it didn't take too long after the initial shock for me to fully accept it and be equally hopeful that we would end up at SUU.

In the end I think he only completely finished applications for 2 schools.  West Minster for a Masters in Art Education which would have taken us down the teaching path, and SUU for a Masters in Art Administration which path is yet to be determined, but we have a ballpark of what we might end up doing (a BIG ball park).  He got accepted to West Minster and wait-listed with SUU. (They only accepted 4 people to the program.)  We were assured that at least one person always declined acceptance to the program by the end of the summer and he was in a "prominent" spot on the wait list.  Apparently last year was the first year no one dropped out.  SO West Minster it was for us.  We were both bummed but going to move on with it.

At the end of the summer a full time job opportunity came up for Nate.  He deferred West Minster for 2 semesters and took the job in hopes that if he applied again to SUU he would get in.  It was an amazing year for us with a lot of struggle, but a lot of opportunity as well.  During the waiting period he recieved a priesthood blessing from his dad.  The one thing that I remember about the blessing is that he was blessed that he would be able to attend his school of choice.  That was a relief in a sense, but at the same time I wasn't sure if that meant this time he would get into SUU or that his school of choice would have to change to be in line with what Heavenly Father had in mind for us.

I think it was when we came to Cedar City for his interview that I started to truly have faith.  While he interviewed I drove around and I felt really good about being here.  It felt a little like home. And our faith and prayers were answered  eventually with an acceptance phone call, followed by the written word.  Until we actually got here it seemed surreal, but now it's just a dream come true.

I don't usually feel the need to justify a blog post, but I feel like people might be wondering why I wrote this.  Well here it is.

I know my Redeemer Lives and loves us.  I know our Heavenly Father loves us and knows us individually.  I know that as we strive to live according to his plan he will direct our paths and if we are doing our best, it's hard to stray from his plan.  I know that through prayer and scripture study we open ourselves to receive personal revelation through the power of the Holy Ghost.

Nate knew that his previous choices didn't quite hit the mark.  He would have been good at them and we could have been happy living those other lives BUT, we can live an even better life because Nate followed a prompting to keep looking. (There's that good, better, best theme again!) I am grateful for him.  I'm grateful for his faith and his testimony of his Savior.  I'm grateful for his humility to trust that the Lord will never leave us or lead us astray.  He  leads our family in the best way because he leads us in light.

I'm also grateful for the confirmation through the Holy Ghost when we are on the right path.  It's yet another witness that we are not left alone on this journey through life.

So~ happy in life I will leave you with this... GO THUNDERBIRDS!

About Running in Cedar City

It was too much for a status on FB so I thought... why not use my blog?!  I really should be blogging more often, and maybe this move to Cedar is the perfect excuse.

For those who don't know and those who care or not, this summer and sporadically since last fall I have slowly been getting into running.  I really started getting into it when Nate got me a pair of running shoes for Mother's day. My initial goal was to be able to run a 5 k w/o stopping.  When I completed that goal I made a goal at the end of july to be able to do 4.5 mile w/o stopping.  I actually completed my goal! (unlike juicing, but I don't want to go into that right now).

I stopped running at the end of July because with moving I felt I had too much on my plate.  But as school has started for Nate and we get a bit more settled each day I feel the desire and need to start again.  So after a 4 week hiatus I started on Monday and have been going strong!  I realized that while I didn't think of it much in the last 4 weeks I really have missed it.

My first run Monday kicked my butt!  Not only have I given myself too long of a break but I cannot believe the difference elevation makes.  The elevation in Murray, UT is 4350 feet.  The elevation of Cedar City, UT is 5834 feet. That is a difference of 1484 feet. Big difference it turns out!  On top o the elevation difference I'm now battling hills - whether they be dramatic and short or the gradual, unrelenting increase, I didn't have too much of that in Murray.  The 3 issues have made running hard, and I can't lie~  I really wish I could just pick up where I left off so I can start a new goal instead of repeat my last one.

Yesterday as I was running and passing the south side of the school I noticed people on the track.  I've been wanting to time my mile for a while now so I thought I would give it a try.  (We won't talk about my mile time... but to be fair I had just run a mile+ with a chunk of that being up hill.)

And as Nate and I were having our pillow talk last night I talked to him about my running and such. I realized that if I ran on the track everyday I wouldn't have to fight hills and elevation at the same time.  Today I gave it a try and I really liked it.  Sure, it's not as scenic as some of the streets and neighborhoods, but I really like seeing how far I need to go till I hit that next mile mark.  It's going to help a lot.  When I feel like I've kicked elevation's butt I will challenge myself with the hills.

Usually when I run it's first thing in the morning before the kids are out of bed and before Nate's left for work.  Today I just wasn't ready to get out of bed.  I didn't want to.  BUT  In preparation for our move up here Nate and I bought a couple second hand road bikes so he could ride to school and I could have another exercise outlet for days I didn't feel like running.  We also purchased a bike trailer/jogging stroller for the kids so riding can be a family activity.  This is my first time having a jogging stroller and I love it! So back to not wanting to get out of bed... The upside was that if I didn't want to I wasn't missing my opportunity.  I could take the kids!  So after Nate left for work I packed the kids up, walked to the track and let them run around while I did my run.  It was fantastic!!!!

It wasn't a perfect, uninterrupted mom time run, but it was still exercise and it was a lot of fun to involve the kids.  Not only did they get to run around w/out being restricted a ton, but they got involved in the exercise too.  Bud ran almost a full half mile without stopping.  I can't believe it.  He's not even 4!  He only stopped towards the end.  I think this will be good for our family.  Champ toddled around a bit and I walked a lap carrying him and when it became apparent that he needed closer supervision because he'd discovered the groundsman's John Deer lawn truck I stuck him in the stroller and ran with him. I love having a double stroller!

I'm going to like it here a lot.  I love knowing that I can have my exercise to myself or involve my kids on days that I don't want to wake up early enough for that.  I love living right next to the track so if I do have my kids with me I can keep a close eye on them while I exercise.  I just need to remember not to put Champ in colors that blend in with the grass.  Must remember: BRIGHT colors = easy to see children.  

I also love having a bike (first bike in 15+ years!).  For days I don't feel like running I can switch it up and ride!

My next running goals are to be able to run a 10k then a half.  Eventually I want to do a tri-sprint with my sister... and now that I have a bike I can actually train for one!

About Days 35 - 40

Well it's been a while since I posted and here's what I'm up (or rather down) to. I reached my wedding weight a couple of days ago and I'm still headed down. It feels so good! Haven't tried on my wedding dress, yet. Too busy.

We went on a road trip to MT over easter with Nate's family. We left friday after Nate got home from work and I had been so busy packing and getting ready I completely did not stop to make myself juice for the trip. That meant 9 hours in the car with only having had breakfast. Sometimes I'm a car muncher but sometimes I don't eat a lot at all on road trips because I figure I'm using so little energy just sitting there, I don't need to eat. So I drank a lot of water. It wasn't so bad until we stopped for dinner at subway. The temptation was terrible! I even got in line to order, but in the end I couldn't get day 61 one out of my mind, and how disappointed I would be if I had just one sandwich. So I stuck with water. The way back wasn't so hard. I had extra juice. For dinner we stopped for Mexican and that made me nervous. The appetizer chips, guacamole and beans looked the most tempting but in the end it wasn't so bad. I expected and overwhelming smell of yumminess when we walked in the doors of the restaurant, but there was not one. I expected the same overwhelming smell when everyone got their food but there wasn't one. I focussed on feeding the baby while everyone else ate and in the end it wasn't such a bad venture. Oh right, all the easter candy in the car on the way home killed a bit, but I didn't eat any.

Monday we went to visit with my sister all day because my bro who lives in MT happened to be visiting UT while we were in MT to visit Nate's bro. Luckily there was an overlap in traveling so we got to see my family too. We did a weenie roast for dinner. Mmmmm. I love roasting stuff so I made some hot dogs for other people. For dessert? S'mores. My sister was taking care of her baby so I took the liberty of making her s'mores. I'm quite the pro. The secret is to melt the mallow slowly and while you are melting the mallow you also melt the chocolate on a graham square close to the fire. Heaven! Well I had roasted a couple of marshmallows for kids and realized I couldn't use the fire to clean the stick because the stick got too hot for next mallow to stick properly to the stick, making it practically impossible to get a good even roast on the next marshmallow.

And here it is. My big confession.

So when i was making my sisters s'mores and needed to clean the stick off between mallows I just took the goo off with my finger and ate it. Yep. There it is, my big cheat. I consciously ate mallow goo. Her fire pit is at the back of a very long backyard and it was just too much effort to walk back to the house and wash the stick or my fingers off. Had I thought about it before, I would have had my sister clean the stick with her finger, but the thought hadn't crossed my mind. I don't feel bad either. I don't feel like this will taint my victory at the end. It was such a small amount and I didn't do it because I was giving into temptation, but rather I was being lazy about solving a problem.

At this point of my fast I feel as though I am mentally ready to be good to my body and chose foods that are good for my body. I don't crave sugar and am not tempted by so much anymore. I feel as though after this is done, if I wanted to eat just one cookie I could walk away at just one. I have the power to say no. So though I think I'm "cured", I do still have weight loss goals I would like to achieve, AND I did make a commitment to 60 days so I'm sticking to it. Being done mentally though makes things harder somedays. This challenge has so many different levels of hard! I thought it would just get easier, but instead the things that make it hard are just changing.

AND I am excited that my friend just completed a 10 day juice fast! We texted a lot while she did her fast and it was really nice to converse with someone who understood what I was doing. It was also nice to see the foods she pinned while she did her fast. She completely understands my food pinning fetish! She lost 10 lbs in 10 days and really has a desire to eat healthy now. I'm excited for her! Also she's amazing because she took a trip to Disneyland while on her juice fast and didn't cheat! Wow! Yay for Mindy!

Also, check out my sister's 30 day progress on her sugar fast. So happy for her! It was a good experience for her and if you're looking to make a step towards being just a little more healthy this is a great way to start. During this, Christa told me a lot about how much sugar she is learning is in processed foods. She had a friend who did a similar challenge, and lived by the following rule: if sugar is one of the first 3 ingredients listed, don't eat it. It's a great place to start.

Happy eating!

P.S. Can't believe I'm in the 130s!

About the First 30 Days!

They are over and here are the promised halfway pictures!

Nate surprised me with a halfway-mark gift... What a sweetheart!

Here's to the next (and last) 30 days! : )

About a Love Story

About A World Premier

Watch it free for the next 5 days! Hungry for Change

As a side note I am now half way to my total weight loss goal! 15 lbs down 15 to go!

About My Ooops Moment

The first day of this challenge I was making a peanut butter sandwich for my 3 year old and without thinking I licked my finger. It took me a minute afterward to realize what I had done and I discovered then how conscious I would need to be about that behavior during this challenge. Since then I have not had a single lick of anything except my juices....

.... Until yesterday! My sister and her family were over for dinner and Nate and I had prepared something scrumptious for them....

This

With these... and for dessert

These!

It all looks so delicious right?! As per the usual I drank my juice while everyone ate. Not a biggie. I enjoyed that they enjoyed dinner!

As I was serving up the brownies without thinking I licked the bit of brownie batter that was on the back of my hand from mixing the brownies. Once again it took me a minute to realize what I did. Oops! I was surprised I did it. I had gone 21 days without anything but fruits and veggies and I just broke that streak!

BUT I wasn't mad at myself, for a couple of reasons; the first reason being that it was completely innocent, and I was unaware of what I was doing in that moment. And the second... Well I'll get to that after this little story.

A friend pointed out that she's been noticing a lot of the foods I've been pinning, and asked how I was "dealing". I had to laugh because when I started this I went crazy pinning healthy (vegan healthy even) foods to try out at the end of my fast. That has since changed, and a lot of the things I pin now (again) are just anything that looks delicious. I don't care if it's good for me or not!

For a while that scared me, because I assumed that meant that I really am not changing my health habits and I must be planning to go back to my old ways after this is all said and done. Now it does not scare me.

I've learned that pinning food is a coping mechanism for me.... an outlet for any emotions this extreme diet brings. That is ok! It's fabulous even. Because if I am choosing not to eat food the least I can do is look. I've decided there is no shame in looking. I don't care if I'm pinning artery clogging poutine

(LOVE this stuff but seriously, IT WILL STOP YOUR HEART!),

the important thing is I'm not eating it! I NEED an outlet, and this one works perfect for me.

I've realized on days that I'm really appreciating, and dare I say, enjoying, this fast I tend to post healthier things. And on days that I am hating juicing and tired of it and just want it to be over (i.e. days I'm not liking what I see on the scale) I pin anything that looks delicious. Seriously... ANYTHING!

So now, back to the second thing I learned about my slip up... When I realized that I had just licked chocolate off my hand my first reaction thought wasn't Mmmmm! That was delicious! it was instead Hmm. That wasn't vegetable juice.

After processing everything, my mistake, the shock, the reaction in my mind I realized something. This IS about being healthy, and it IS working, and my tastebuds ARE changing! I think I can safely say, that while I still enjoy looking at anything that will make my tastebuds water, I am no longer addicted to sugar. I AM NO LONGER ADDICTED TO SUGAR!!!!

That's a pretty big deal for me! Let me share an embarrassing confession just to prove how big of a deal. When I was a kid, as per Mary Poppin's suggestion, I would literally eat spoonfuls of sugar. Strait sugar. HA! Can you believe that? Am I the only one that did it? Please tell me I'm not. But still. How embarrassing. I'm grateful for the metabolism my body had back then!

Anyway. I'm grateful for my mistake. I needed to know that I am doing this for a higher cause and not just the size of jeans I wear. I had some other things to share, but this post is longer than I expected, so I will share those thoughts at a different time. In the meantime I hope you enjoy looking at yummy foods as much as I do!

And I almost forgot. I discovered "Oh She Glows" today and I can't wait to try out some of the recipes from it at the end of my fast!

About Day 20

I'm 1/3 of the way through!!!!

About Baby Weight

It's gone! I'm officially at my pre-baby weight! Next stop... wedding weight!

About Fennel

It tastes like licorice.... The real kind....

The BLACK stuff!

About Day 15

Well I'm almost a full quarter of the way through, and I feel great!

BUT.... I'm not going to lie...

I still have thoughts almost every day about quitting and just eating regular food. Not because I crave candy or sweets or In-n-Out burger, I don't, but because it is the easy thing to do. It's easy to eat delicious food. It's normal. And while I don't crave anything right now I do miss it. I remember that I liked it. I miss chewing bananas and watermelon! Not really any surprise there but still.

This is hard!

After I think I could quit at any moment, I think about day 60 and what that will be like, and feel like, and how I'll look. Then I think, I will never know if I stop today.

I want to know!

While teaching myself to love healthiness is the biggest reason for doing this, losing weight is the driving force. I REALLY am tired of feeling the way I do, and looking the way I do. I really want to be thin for myself and quite honestly look hot for my husband.

Even after losing almost 10 lbs I still look in the mirror and feel like I'm having a fat day, but I know if I keep this up I can over come that.

In the meantime I try not to feel sorry for myself. Sometimes I do though... like today. But I'm over it now. I think.

Day 60 can't come soon enough.

....

And I also know that my Heavenly Father loves me whether I'm fat or skinny. I have to remind myself of that constantly.

About Grocery Shopping

The fridge is all stocked up for the next 5 - 6 days!

On the menu for this week: (all but the last can be found on the reboot site)

Melon Chard Juice

Peachy Green Juice

Red, White, Blue (and Green!) Juice

Spinach-Fennel-Cucumber

Sunset Blend Juice

Apple-Cabbage-Carrot-Swiss Chard-Ginger-Lemon Juice (ten points if you can guess the ingredients to this juice!)

Kristen's Green Juice

About My New Gear

Today my dearest friend surprised me and stopped by and with her she brought me a sweet gift!

Don't you just love this fun cup?!

Now I don't have to drink my juice 2 glassfuls at a time (our 8 tall glasses died off one by one over the last 5 years). Now one whole meal will fit in the same cup~ all at the same time even!! I love it and it was so thoughtful of her. I will be enjoying my juices from my new cup and her encouragement definitely keeps me motivated!

Oh, and I made up a new recipe today that I was totally happy with. I don't have a name for it, but here it is:

1 Golden Delicious Apple

5-6 lg. carrots

3 celery stalks

1/2 a butter nut squash

It was tasty! What would you name this juice?

About Heart Disease

Another great article!

About Day 13

Today I made a cake and frosted it without any supervision and did not have a single lick! I got this!

I'm getting SOOO close to my pre-pregnancy weight!!!!

About the Family Dinner

I've said it before, but the biggest reason I'm doing this juice fast is because I'm a sugar addict. Nate and I were talking about the different programs Reboot has and he asked me why I'm doing it for 60 days if 10 days is a long enough time to "reboot" your system. The answer to that is simple. Ten days is not enough time to turn me from the sugar addict I am to having healthy habits and a healthy lifestyle. It's all about retraining the tastebuds, and I know me. Ten days is NOT enough time. (As evident from some things I've still been pinning.)

In addition to juicing though, I think one of the keys to doing this is educating myself along the way so I am prepared to continue eating the right food for my body, and start making the right meals for my family~ so I have been reading too. Today I read this article. I love the tips at the bottom of it on how to take back the family dinner, particularly these ones:

"Reinstate the Family Dinner

Read Laurie David's "The Family Dinner". She suggests the following guidelines: Make a set dinnertime, no phones or texting during dinner, everyone eats the same meal, no television, only filtered or tap water, invite friends and family, everyone clean up together."

Growing up we mostly ate at the dinning table and if we at in front of the TV it was a fun family occasion. We also only drank water and if someone called during dinner most of the time we would answer the phone and let them know we would call them back. Oh and the idea that my mom would cook different meals for picky eaters is laughable.

"Eat Together

No matter how modest the meal, create a special place to sit down together, and set the table with care and respect. Savor the ritual of the table. Mealtime is a time for empathy and generosity, a time to nourish and communicate."

I like this one. We also always had a very well set dinner table growing up. Not fancy mind you, but everything we would need during the course of the meal was on the table before we were all sitting for prayer. It was nice not to be jumping up and down because something was forgotten. Setting the table was one of my chores so you would think I would be better at it then I am in my own home. I'm going to start making this a special practice again. That means not using the table as a clutter catcher anymore. I used to visit someone that always had her dining room table set. It was beautiful and looked very clean and inviting.

"Learn How to Cook and Shop

You can make this a family activity, and it does not need to take a ton of time. Keep meals quick and simple."

I don't know how to do this without it taking a lot of time... ESPECIALLY with the family. Nate and I generally do go shopping together though. I simply need more practice and more organization. Something else I will be working on.

"Plant a Garden

This is the most nutritious, tastiest, environmentally friendly food you will ever eat."

Growing up we had a garden, and someday when I have a house and the space for it I will have one again. I've been pinning stuff on my "garden party" board in preparation for that day.

"Invest in Food

As Alice Waters says, food is precious. We should treat it that way. Americans currently spend less than10 percent of their income on food, while most European's spend about 20 percent of their income on food. We will be more nourished by good food than by more stuff. And we will save ourselves much money and costs over our lifetime."

Ah money. If I had it, this part would be easy for me. I also love the reminder that STUFF is not nourishing, not in any sense of the word.

I'm grateful I have a mother who prepared dinner for us. And though I'm not great at it for my own family, I know what it feels like and looks like because of her.

The other thing I need to do is learn how to get my kids involved in mealtime. Last week I learned that letting your child help with preparation makes them more likely to eat dinner!

About Day 10

Well I made it to the double digits and it wasn't easy, but I did it. Little victory!

Even better than that little victory is this BIG little victory.... I weigh less than my husband!!!! YAY!!!!!! Now I'm ready to turn that into a sizable gap:)

I laid in bed this morning, happy about the milestone I accomplished, and I realized... I'm doing this! This isn't something that's happening to me. This is ME CHANGING MYSELF! That is such a powerful feeling. I hope it carries me through the rest of this journey:)

10 days~ total weight loss = 8 1/2 lbs.

Bring on the next 10 days!

About Chocolate Cake

Today we were invited to a birthday party for a cute little neighbor of ours during which I held a plate of chocolate cake in my hand and didn't even take a lick! Little moments like this remind me that I can do this!

I have this terrible tendency to let myself go too long between meals. Not just juice meals but any meal. I can't do that while I juice. I was SO tempted to just eat just now and if I continue to let myself get to the point of hungry I'm not going to be able to make it 50 more days. Right now that feels SO LONG!

At least in the meantime I can pin new healthy recipes to try out... Like this one...

About Day 9

Yesterday I had a bad day. (I did get the kitchen and dining room scrubbed though) I didn't feel very good about myself so I didn't want to post. BUT today has been much better. Despite my bad day I have not cheated. Tomorrow will be day ten and I feel great! I think I've realized one of the triggers to a bad day vs. a good day is what I've got in my fridge. If I'm left with veggies that I'm not a fan of I feel like this challenge is going to be long an hard. When my fridge is full of better tasting veggies with a variety of what to make I don't really think much about what I'm doing and just do it.

I'm glad I'm getting to know what I like to eat better, but I wish I liked a bigger variety. I don't see how I'm going to maintain this eating style if I only have a small amount that I actually enjoy eating. I'm going to continue to keep trying new recipes. I will cross out the ones I don't like and start repeating the ones I do.

I strained my juice once to see what it would be like if it weren't so thick. It was better, but the pulp looked so healthy and nutrient filled that I put it back in. I had planned on not straining anything again, but then I discovered some juices are not pulpy, they are grainy. NOT a fan of the grainy juice. Those I strain. Beets make a grainy juice as do radishes. Speaking of beets... LOVE the color! Equally dislike the taste.

Breakfasts are great, they are my favorite. I LOVE fruit, always have and I see no problem juicing for breakfast for the next 51 days (at least!). I don't follow recipes at breakfast time, I just throw a bunch of different fruit in and always love what I end up with. Today I had a great ruby red grapefruit juice mixed with a plum, kiwi, apple (I think). I don't really remember. It was just SO GOOD! And pink. I liked that it was pink. Much prettier than green:)

So, energy is up. Still waking up at or before 7:00 every day and even working out. I worked out every day this week and did an ab work every other day. My tummy is getting flatter! Not that I need to say this, but it's encouraging.... VERY encouraging to see and feel that it's not sticking out there quite so far.

Day 10, here I come:) (I think I forgot to cross of day 8... must do that!)

Oh, and I had another dream about cheating.... This one involved some FIERCE finger licking of peanut butter and something else really delish. I felt bad when I realized I had forgotten.

About The Fountain of Youth

Once again, the boost I needed to help me keep going. I missed food until I saw this!

About What I REALLY Want To Do Today

If I was not doing a juice fast today I would would be making an Oreo cake in honor of the 100th birthday of Oreo.

I remember my mom made one for my sister one year and it was amazing! She even put sparklers on it! In my imperfect memory it probably looked a lot like this only w/out the chocolate dripping down the sides, AND with sparklers. It was awesome.

Yes, I know, I'm a sugar addict.

About My First Little Victory

I have tried losing weight a couple of times since my first baby and I did... both times! But neither of those times stuck. Both times I started around 162-ish and ended up around 157-ish. Then I stopped. The first time because a cold that just never seemed to go away and when it finally did I was out of the habit and had lost my desire. The second time was... we can call it winter blues, or there are other reasons that I won't go into, but once again I stopped progressing. I wasn't seriously committed enough to my weight loss and both times went right back up to 162.

I'm happy to say that for the first time in 4 years I am below 157! I weighed in at 156 + a couple ounces this morning! WOOOWHOOOO!!!! I probably wouldn't be quite so excited if this were any other attempt to lose weight, BUT I know I'm only going to keep dropping on the scales so it's ok to get excited!

Next little victory will be at the end of the day today when I will have made it through a full week. Then there's making it through double digits, 1/4 of the 60 days, my pre pregnancy weight, my pre-wedding weight... and the list goes on!!!

Seriously... I wish this were a book so I could read what happens at the end already. Happy day:)

Oh, and I'm still waking up before 7 feeling fully rested. I'm sure it helped that we went to bed at 9:00 last night, but in the past regardless of when I went to bed I couldn't seem to drag myself out of bed until sometime between 8:00 and 9:00. I love these early mornings!

About This Moment

At this moment I want nothing more than to take a nap. Lunch was not satisfying to my tastebuds and I'm tired.

About My Favorite Sweetener

I have always LOVED watermelon. My crazy husband isn't a fan, but that's ok, because I like it enough for the both of us. Tonight I put watermelon juice in my raspberry tea. Big fan! I will be doing that more often.

About Grandma Love

My grandma just called! I love her so much, we've always had a special relationship and I just miss her.

I told her about what I'm doing fully expecting her to think I was going over the top on this... after all, she was the one who always told me I was too skinny and would kick me out of her sewing room. She did not tell me I was crazy or didn't need to worry about my weight though. She said "I hope it works for you." and then shared her experiences with weight battle.

I needed that tonight. I needed the support. Evenings feel like they get harder while mornings feel like they get easier.

I'm off to watch Once Upon A Time. SUPER LOVE!

About Food on Pinterest

Sometimes I avoid Pinterest because of things like this:

I really miss hot meals. It's still winter here and doesn't a hot meal just warm the soul?!

Sometimes when I don't avoid pinterest I pin things like this:

But sometimes I also find blogs like this: The Healthy Dessert Blog

About Sunday (Day 4!)

Nate and I just had a date and watched "Fat Sick and Nearly Dead". He hadn't seen it yet. When I first told him I wanted to do this he was very cautious about it and wasn't completely on board. I think that's changed now. *Big smile* (really by the end of the movie both times I've just been smiling. It's THAT inspiring.)

It was a great source of strength after having started my fast and not only did I enjoy it... again... But I related to Joe and Phil and Siong. And while I can't even remember a tenth of the thoughts I wanted to share as I watched, one stood out to me. I loved what Joe said about his fast. Once he resigned himself to not eating, nothing was going to change that. That's kind of how I feel each morning when I wake up and mark another day off my calendar. Its true what he said about nights. They are harder, but I still know that it's worth it and the tantalizing smells of dinner aren't going to change my mind.

One thing I did learn while watching this time around, is the top reasons I haven't been miserable during these first couple of days. Living the Word of Wisdom has given me a big push start. A couple of dull headaches don't seem like much when I compare them to Joe, Phil, and Siong's experiences at the start. Not being a drinker of coffee, tea, or alcohol really has made this easier for me. Also as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints I am not a stranger to fasting. I fast the first Sunday of each month for 2 meals or 24 hours (and also for special reasons that may come up). It's a beautiful way to teach our bodies to submit to our spirits and not the other way around.

Something that took me by surprise, was being at church and having the sacrament passed to me. I take the sacrament every week and yet it came as a surprise to have it put in front of me with the expectation that I would take a piece of bread and eat it. I actually paused for a tiny moment in my mind to think about it and of course I partook. The sacrament isn't about bread or eating or cheating on my fast, it is about Christ and the blood he shed for me, and life he gave for me. It was almost a new experience and really gave me a unique opportunity to remember what the sacrament represents and the covenants that accompany it. I think that's why the bread tasted different this time.

Today has been good. I did learn, while watching the movie again, it's ok to have just a fruit juice once a day and putting it in my herbal tea wasn't cheating at all! Yay! Mmmmm! I love me some fresh fruit juice!

And now I will happily put myself to bed. I'm eager to cross another day off tomorrow. Can't believe at the end of tomorrow I will be halfway to 10. DOUBLE DIGITS!!!

About Day 3

I love marking the days off on my calendar. I have 57 more days I get to put and X on!!! Yay! (57!?)

I'm learning that with my recipes simple is best... kinda like the old adage says, "Keep it simple stupid." I can get a good tasting juice with just 4 or 5 veggies and fruits. I don't need bits of everything.

I didn't really organize myself very well when I started this. I just kind of went to the grocery store and threw stuff in my cart, including some stuff I'd never used before... like leeks. BAD IDEA! I have looked through a lot of the recipes on the reboot site and I'm pretty sure every recipe I've been missing ingredients for. Therefore I've been left to make up my own, and being new to this, it isn't really ideal. Most of them have been ok but I question if the recipes on the site are any better.

SO next time I go shopping I will be prepared for with a grocery list of items I need from specific recipes I'm interested in trying. To start in preparation for my next shopping trip, here is my grocery list for the 5 day reboot program broken up according to vegetables/fruit... Some items aren't exact numbers, but I'll be able to do a better estimate with veggies in hand at the grocery store.

Take it. Use it. Love it.

Because right now I am making up the recipes as I go and I did have 1 bad experience I have been tasting each individual juice as I juice it. I really like carrot juice and tomato juice and of course the fruit juices as stand alone juices. (No surprise there) I found I like Yellow bell pepper as well. Red is ok, but nothing special. Spinach and Kale... yuck. They are both kind of bitter so it's a good thing they mix well with other juices.

I don't have a very refined pallet BUT I'm hoping this will help me as I combine flavors. It's been fun getting familiar (and reacquainted) with the taste of the different vegetables.

About Spaghetti Juice

Tonight Nate and Bud had chili cheese dogs for dinner. Heck, the baby even got in on that action. My smell buds went wild and I found myself leaning over the stove just sniffing it in.

Feeling very deprived I was tempted to make myself some fruit juice and ignore my 4th serving of vegetables. I'm glad I share my thoughts with my husband because he encouraged me to go for the vegetables.

Looking in the fridge, deciding what I thought looked good I pulled out the swiss chard and the basil. When I pulled out the basil I thought of spaghetti sauce and a light bulb went on. If I could gather veggies that I might put in a spaghetti sauce maybe I'll end up with something good.

And I did. I SOOO did. I really needed something good after my small temptation to cheat when Nate went out with Bud earlier this evening... because... hey, no one would know. But I didn't cheat. And I didn't eat a chili cheese dog. So I needed something that tasted better than "ok... not gross, but ok."

So, with no further ado i give you "Spaghetti Juice"

3 large leaves of Swiss Chard

1 bunch of basil

1/2 bunch of parsley

2 carrots

2 green apples

2 handfuls of plum tomatoes

I want to play around with the carrot amount. I only had 2 carrots left sooo.... but really it does taste great as is.

Besides the taste I also like that this juice is thinner than most I've made. I don't mind the thickness, but it's a nice change of pace.

I think going forward I have learned to make my juices according to what might taste good in a meal. Maybe that was obvious to some, but I'm a little slow sometimes.

About Art

Some day I'm going to have a small collection of these mini paintings by Meaghan Smith and put them in my kids' rooms. I just love them.

About Trying Again

So when I wrote that I'm poor at being consistent I should have added being committed.

Like when I try to be consistent about cleaning my face at night to get rid of my acnes... I get lazy.

As I was responding to Christa's comment I saw a picture from a previous blog about my goals to lose weight. Ummm. I didn't do so hot. I did well until December and then it all fell apart. Not only did I stop losing weight, I gained back what I had lost...

Why? SUGAR!!! I just love the stuff.

Sigh.

Oh well.

Failing in that goal is what led me to this, and I believe this will be more of the paradigm shift that I need.

AND I guess I didn't really fail. I still have time.

About Day 2

I have so many small thoughts on whats going on.

First of all I was not starving by the end of the day yesterday. Hungry, but not starving. There was a moment yesterday afternoon when I felt like I needed food right then and there, but I think I waited too long between juices. I don't think it's wise to let more than 3 - 3 1/2 hours max pass between "feedings". I usually feel sufficiently full after 16 ounces of thick juice, but because I had waited so long it took a little bit of time for it to register to my body that I had eaten. But it did register and I was able to go about my day, which included making a snow angel with Bud.

I had a night cap of raspberry tea with some apple juice and grape juice in it. It was ok. Is that cheating to drink fruit juice w/no greens? I will have to figure that out.

One thing I'm loving is I am now using my strawberry huller to core my apples. I don't know if I'm slow for not doing it before or if I'm genius for thinking of it. I don't know if other people use them for apples but I prefer it to an apple slicer. I hate it when I use an apple slicer and it doesn't go through evenly and get the core and then there's all kinds of good apple wasted!

I started having moments of missing food yesterday. Chewing it and tasting it. But they were moments and they passed. I even had the opportunity to turn down a dinner offer from Nate's grandparents. Grandpa looked at me funny when I said I was doing a juice fast. It made me laugh. While Nate and Bud ate I did g-ma and g-pa's grocery shopping. I was glad to have something to do. I don't mind seeing food or watching them eat but on night one when they were eating dinner I was drinking my juice so I didn't really feel like such an odd ball. I didn't have any juice w/me last night so it would have been weird and hard, I think, to sit with them.

I feel today like if I made it 2 days then I can do this. There's a very good chance those feelings will change but for now I will cling to them.

One reason I think this might be easier for me than some people is, I often feel liked food is a nuisance; stopping what I'm doing to prep for it, or even eat it, figuring out what to eat, preparing a menu, grocery shopping. It's all too much of a bother for me and my husband has many a times heard me question why we were blessed with the need for food and why we can't function without it. When I was a teenager my grandma would kick me out of her sewing room until I ate something because I didn't stop for food. I still don't when I'm deeply involved in a project. It's a nuisance! But grabbing some veggies out of the fridge, chopping somethings when necessary and pushing them through a blade... now that's easy! It takes me less than 2 minutes to finish eating every meal and I'm back to doing what I want.

A reason I think this might be harder for me than some is because I've never been consistent and even worse, consistently disciplined. Using a juicer 4-5 times a day means cleaning it 4 - 5 times a day. I've already started getting a little lazy about it, though I'm haven't left it for too long yet. I've also never had a consistent schedule except for when Bud was born. That was the only time in my life I was consistent with a schedule and it was for his feedings and naps. Now I have to make sure I'm consistent with when I "eat" so my body will function. Also I'm not sure if my will power is strong enough. I've never tested myself in this way and what if I fail?

I guess all I can do is take it one day at a time whether it be an easy or a hard day.

One benefit I feel might come of this is requiring less sleep. Last night Nate and I went to bed at 10:30. I woke up just before 6:30. At first I thought it might still be the middle of the night and was thinking there was no way I would be able to fall back asleep, but when I looked at the clock I realized that I didn't have to. It only took me a minute to decide that if I was awake and felt rested I should not try to go back to sleep. So up I was at 6:30 and it thrilled me! I LOVE mornings. There has only been one short time in my life when my body was awake every morning and I was able to function and enjoy them. That was probably about 7 years ago. I've always wanted to get to that point again. Apparently all I need to do, besides go to bed at a decent hour, is to eat a healthy diet. Imagine that!

And I almost forgot to mention. 2 days of juicing, 2 nights of dreaming about food. The first night I cheated horribly by licking my fingers after preparing yummy food, which made me feel awful. And the second night I had a really yummy plate of chicken and salad (a very healthy meal) in front of me. I almost ate it because it was healthy, but decided not to because I would rather stick to my commitment of just juicing. That dream made me happy.

So here's to another day crossed off my calendar and another day to live! If you want a change and feel overwhelmed with the idea of a juice fast, try something small like a sugar fast. My sister, Christina is doing one for a month. Check out her blog to see the simple things she'll be doing to be healthier. Kristi is starting a 10 day green smoothie challenge on Monday... if you are interested, try it out. What have you got to lose?!

About Day 1 and Onto Day 2

I wasn't sure how this was going to go yesterday after the leek juice, but today my juices have been a lot more tasty so I'm not quite so nervous anymore.

I'm not hungry... yet... But here's hoping I won't get hungry. I have been mentally prepping for that part.

Every day I will be drinking about 4 - 5, 16 ounce juices and adding approximately 16 - 24 ounces of additional fluids. Besides drinking LOTS of water I can also drink herbal tea, lemon water and plain coconut water. Gotta get me some of that stuff!

With each serving of juice I am getting somewhere between 200 - 400 calories. Multiply that X 4 -5 servings I am probably consuming 1500 - 2000 calories a day. Not so bad right? I remind myself that constanty so my head knows I'm not starving and hopefully will send that message to my body. I really hope I don't feel like I'm starving at any point during this reboot.

I'm not a fan of cleaning the juicer 4 - 5 times a day but after making a couple of batches that have lasted me more than one serving (i.e. sat for a couple of hours) I've decided I like it fresh MUCH better. I started lining my pulp catching pail with the produce bags from my groceries and the pail is big enough to catch a days worth of pulp, so I only have to pull the bag out and replace it once a day. I like that.

See more of the benefits of what I'm doing here!

About Leeks

I have never had a leek or used leeks in cooking before today. This is what I learned. A leak is NOT a "leafy green". It's a giant green onion. Yep! And when I juiced it, my eyes started watering like crazy until I got the carrots in. Poor Bud, eager to watch me, was in the line of fire and his eyes started watering too.

I suppose I should have figured it out. Look at those stems! They look just like green onions!

I will NOT be making that combination juice again. Too bad there was enough juice for 2 servings.

I can't decide if I should just stick to tried and true recipes or continue to experiment and learn about different vegetables in surprising ways. Thoughts?

I have a dull headache forming. Too many leeks perhaps? Sugar withdrawals?

About An Answered Prayer

Yesterday morning I was said prayer asking my Heavenly Father if this would be right and good for me. I think he thinks it is. This is why.

• Sometime in the morning after my prayer I got on KSL classifieds and craigslist to try once again to find an affordable juicer. Most of the juicers I was seeing before then were 70-75+ and of the 4ish people I called I only got one call back and it turned out the guy was in Roy (too much gas money and time.). Well I decided to search again only this time I searched the whole classified section instead of just the "other appliances" section. Up popped just one more ad for only $50!!! I left another message and the woman called me back! She was very kind so I bought the juicer.
• After reading through the "mommy meltdown" blog again I noticed for the first time a hulu reference to the documentary "Fat Sick and Nearly Dead" by one of her commenters. I didn't have netflix so until yesterday I hadn't seen the blog. I watched it. I felt good. I felt inspired. I thought, I should do this!
• After posting my first blog on this experience on the wrong blog I saw a new blog by my friend Kristi. And who woulda thought but she posted about the EXACT SAME THING only a day before me! She will be doing the reboot challenge as well (I'm not sure for how long). I felt encouraged (after being bummed that my sister who wanted to do it couldn't) that not only did I have the support of some of my closest friends but I had a friend actually wanting to do this as well!

On hard days I want to remember that these are all little things that led to me feeling this is right after my prayer.

About the Juice Fast

I wanted to post about this journey on a private blog. Kristi convinced me to "own it" and put it out there. So here it is....

So it's rather late but tomorrow I'm about start something that is a little extreme, a little crazy, a little exciting, and hopefully VERY beneficial. I am starting a juice fast... For 60 days. SIXTY days!!! So before I get into how I feel about it I just want to talk about why I'm doing it and why I'm blogging about it.

I'm blogging because I want to be able to go back to this post and posts to come and remember why I'm doing this, as well as progress I've made for when this challenge starts to feel a little over whelming.

I'm choosing this fast for a means to healthiness for a list of reasons which include (but may not be limited to) the following:

• I am a sugar addict.

A while back I was reading a blog I found on pinterest called "I Quit Sugar". I thought it was great for Sarah that she quit sugar, but it wasn't my cup of tea. I wasn't addicted, I just chose to eat it because it's such a normal part of life and I like it. I don't know if something changed between then and now and I became addicted, or if it's just that I can now admit my addiction... But I'm a sugar addict... and that's a problem. I'm not trying to be dramatic, and I wouldn't call myself a food addict, but I seriously think about sweets and sugary things CONSTANTLY.

• I don't eat enough vegetables.

In fact I hardly ever eat them. I'm not the most organized cook and when I do prepare meals I wouldn't say I am in the habit of making well balanced meal. That's a problem. Not enough vegetables = not enough healthy nutrients. I've been married for 5 years, and besides my husband who actually lost weight after we got married because I don't cook, I have a 3 year old and a baby about ready to really get into the solid foods. If I'm not cooking balanced meals, they are not eating balanced meals and that's my responsibility as wife and mother.

• I want to lose weight.

Yep, this has more to do with just having healthy innards. I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror. I feel uncomfortable with myself, in my clothes and with the fact that my husband still says he's attracted to me. I feel discouraged, and I know this is probably bad thinking on my part, but I feel if I'm ever going to lose the weight I have to do it all at once because I'm not disciplined enough to take the "slow and steady wins the race" route. And I know I could be exercising to lose weight, and I do dabble in that, but this is my problem with exercise... It's not a daily necessity to function. I know I'm better off exercising, but I don't HAVE to do it every day and I just don't have that kind of discipline yet for it to make a difference. I HAVE to eat. It's a daily part of life that I really can't avoid AND the biggest factor in the 30+ lbs I've gained since first meeting my husband. So if I caused these self esteem issues with food, why not fix it with food?

Skinny me:

Fat me:

• To help maintain my medical issue.

Yep. Just like everyone in the documentary listed below and the blogger who inspired me I have a medical issue. Laryngopharyngeal Reflux, best known as Silent Reflux. I discovered this after going to an ENT because I had a sore throat for 2 months strait. Seriously 2 months, every day, painful swallowing and eating. Most of the time it doesn't bother me, but as per Dr.'s orders I need to "get skinny" (really, those were his exact words) if I don't want it to be an issue.

Skinny me:

Fat Me:

(my tummy is not as big as it looks, that was a blousey shirt and the wind was blowing it forward)

I think I like skinny me better.

So those are the reasons I'm really wanting to do this, listed in order of most driving factors first.

What I want to get out of this: not CRAVING sweets and really having no appetite for those foods which aren't good fore me. I want to have an appetite for healthy foods and I think to do that I need a dramatic change. Also I really want this to help me be better at fasting religiously. I don't know if that's too much to ask but I have never put a lot of effort into it on a consistent basis because it's always been hard for me physically. It really is a pathetic excuse, and I know it's not easy for a lot of people, but I am hoping learning this discipline will help me in my monthly fast and I can learn to focus on the spiritual side of why I fast each month.

Now that you know the why and what~ This is how I feel about this little venture I'm about to embark on.

• SO EXCITED! I'm so ready for a challenge
• Nervous. This is going to be hard!!!
• Ready to see what I'm made of. No one is making me do this, it's all on me.
• Scared. Do I have a strong enough will to make it through detox and get past feeling deprived of things I want to eat? Can I say no to food when everyone around me is eating it?
• Hopeful. This choice and experience may change my life and the life of my family for so much good!

I had a lot more feelings running through my head earlier tonight, which is what made me to decide to start posting before I started this, but I've forgotten them. It's late.

So I will end this post by referring you to the "Mommy Melt Down" blog. This was my first inspiration. I read it sometime at the beginning of January and have continued to go back to it, intrigued by the possibilities of what it could do for me. Read her story and about her journey.

In it she talks about a documentary she saw that inspired her called "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead". I actually didn't see this until today because she only mentioned it being on netflix, which I don't have. I read in her comments section today that it is on hulu. Who knew?! Anyway, it was a great documentary, very inspiring and I felt very good about doing this for myself while watching it.

A lot of the recipes I'll be using will be found here on the reboot site... for free! (or find the pdf for the recipes here for the just juice plan and here for the juice + food plan)

So for now I'm off to bed. Here is what my fridge looks like in preparation for the next week!

Oh and I made my first juice tonight. It wasn't the most amazing thing ever but it wasn't bad. It was even kinda good... good enough that my 3 year old liked it and drank his whole cup! See... it's already benefiting my family:)

My first self made formula:

15 plum tomatoes

5 big carrots

1 orange bell pepper

2 - 3 handfuls of spinach

2 apples

1 kiwi

Makes just over 16 oz.